


I found love where it wasn't supposed to be

by FabulousMoose



Series: Caleb Widogast deserves to be loved [1]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Caleb Widogast Deserves Nice Things, Campaign 2 (Critical Role), Established Relationship, F/M, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Intimacy, M/M, Spoilers for episode 98, a little bit of self loathing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-16
Updated: 2020-04-16
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:34:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23686231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FabulousMoose/pseuds/FabulousMoose
Summary: “I know this sounds scary and confusing. And maybe it’s a little selfish.” Fjord mumbles softly, his thumb touching Caleb’s cheek.” But thinking about the things we have survived these last weeks and then dying…I just wanted you to know because I don’t want to regret it until it becomes too late.” It’s too late, Yasha. That’s what he had said not so long ago.Caleb grabs Fjord by the shirt and kisses him.[...]“We really care about you, Caleb. The both of us. So don’t think that you’re not wanted here.” She raises her brows.” Otherwise I did a poorly job in showing you how much we want you.” Caleb can’t help but chuckle and looks down at the floor, feeling his face become redder as the memory of Jester on top of him comes to his mind.
Relationships: Fjord/Caleb Widogast, Fjord/Jester Lavorre, Fjord/Jester Lavorre/Caleb Widogast, Jester Lavorre/Caleb Widogast
Series: Caleb Widogast deserves to be loved [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1705678
Comments: 2
Kudos: 125





	1. Chapter 1

Sleep doesn’t come easy after the battle with the sea creatures, even after all the security measures he made sure to put on. And though the danger is gone at the moment, he still feels the adrenaline pump on his body, the fear also lingering through his veins. 

Caleb looks at Fjord, who’s deeply sleeping beside him, still wearing the blooded clothes but with a clean gauze covering the wound on his chest and the slightly sweat making his hair stick to his forehead. Caleb thinks of everything that could’ve gone wrong. The image of Fjord lying dead in front of him will haunt him forever even when he’s right there with him now. The panic and desperation in Jester’s eyes burned deep in his brain. 

He shakes his head trying to not get caught in the messy whirlwind that his minds is. He looks at Jester instead, who’s peacefully sleeping next to Fjord, one arm around his waist in a protective way, as if the sea creatures would return and take Fjord away from them even with the _Tiny Hut_ protecting them. 

The view makes Caleb smile melancholily. 

This wasn’t part of the plan. To care for them so deeply and yet he fell like a fool. It’s been almost a year and he still can’t believe he gets to have these people in his life. Even when he doesn’t deserve them. _It is a blessing to have family again,_ he had told Nott. 

It is a scary thought now to imagine a life without Jester’s smile or without Fjord’s reassuring eyes. Would he be able to survive another loss, he wonders.

Caleb looks up at the ceiling. The sounds of Fjord’s heavy breathing breaking the silence together with Yasha’s and Caduceus’ snoring. Nott snuggles up to him a little closer on his other side. 

He lets out a deep sigh and finally lets the exhaustion take him to sleep. 

***

Caleb wakes up alone the next morning, the dome long gone. He panics for a moment, making his way out of the gun deck and relaxes when he sees the rest of the group gathering the dead bodies of the sea creatures on the main deck. 

He feels Fjord's eyes as soon as he comes closer to them and nods. He seems a little more put together but there’s a look of uncertainty and fear in his eyes even when he tries to hide it. Always putting a brave face. 

Caleb gives him a quick reassuring smile and stands next to him as Caduceus start speaking with the dead creatures. He feels a little uneasy when it’s Jesters turn to speak with the other dead body even after when she succeeds in trying to deceive it. And then Fjord’s whole body stiffs beside him as soon as they hear _find the betrayer_ from the dead body. Instinctually, Caleb grabs Fjord’s hand and gives him a slight squeeze. Fjord tilts his head a little bit, looking at him in surprise but doesn’t let go of his hand nor does he say anything. Caleb gives him a second squeeze and forces himself to drop his hand.

After the conversation with the sea creature is over, the group discusses a little more about what to do next until they finally go their way to make some repairs on the ship. 

A few hours later, closer to the evening, Caleb finds himself knocking on the open door of the Captain’s quarters looking after Fjord. 

The half-orc looks up from the map that’s on the desk and smiles at him welcoming. He’s wearing a clean navy blue long-sleeve shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his forearms. 

“Caleb.” Caleb enters the room and closes the door behind him. 

“How are you feeling, Captain?” Fjord huffs and shakes his head as he looks towards the balcony. “I guess being called _The betrayer_ is not something you hear every day.” Fjord tenses a bit, making a discomforting face. 

“There’s a million ways I could respond to that and yet I don’t have an answer” Caleb frowns as he stands next to him. He glances at the bed where Fjord was initially attacked. There’s blood on the sheets. A chill runs down his spine. How long would it had take for them to realize that Fjord was gone if he hadn’t successfully fled from the quarters?

“Beau told me about the _Counterspell_ you did to stop them. Thank you for that, Caleb. I owe you” Fjord finally breaks the silence, looking at him again intensely.

Caleb clears his throat and avoids eye contact. 

“You don’t have to thank me. I wouldn’t… _We_ would never let them take you.” he whispers but is loud enough for Fjord to hear him. When Fjords takes a step closer to him, his heart begins to flutter quicker. 

“I see” Fjords chuckles. His voice is somewhat intoxicating the closer he gets. Their feet are touching and Caleb feels the heat irradiating from Fjord’s body. Or is it coming from his own?” Caleb still doesn’t make eye contact. ”It’s odd how dying changes your perspective of things. I seem to see things with more clarity” Caleb takes a step back and leans on the desk to have some support as he takes a deep breath. Being this close to Fjord makes him even more weaker than he usually tends to be. 

“How so?” He mumbles, his _Zemnian_ accent becoming thicker. He feels Fjords eyes on his face but he can’t look up. 

“It made me realize about what’s important. _Who_ is important to me” Fjord’s voice is also deeper. But those words are like cutting daggers to Caleb, because of course Fjord finally sees that there is someone worthy of him. He finally realizes that he belongs to Jester and they deserve each other, and they deserve to be happy together, and they would never even think about being with a horrible monster like Caleb, and… and… Of course he could never…Because he doesn’t deserve to be loved. Not again. 

Caleb nods and can’t help but give Fjord a forceful smile while he glances up and meets Fjord’s gaze.

“I’m glad for you, Captain” he forces himself to say, feeling the knot on his throat. He forces laugh.”It seems that Jester’s attempts on catching your eye finally paid off” _At least they got each other now._ Caleb stands straight as he clears his throat. He backs off the desk, distancing himself from Fjord and there is a confused look on Fjord’s face. “I…I have to talk to…Nott. I think she needed my help with something.” 

Just as Caleb takes a few steps towards the door, Fjord grabs him by the arm stopping him frommoving forward. Neither of them move for a few seconds before Fjord’s grip relaxes but he doesn’t let him go. 

“Don’t go, please” the half-orc pleads and Caleb can’t move a muscle, paralyzed by the look that Fjords gives him, like he’s going to disappear if he dares to let go of his arm. 

Slowly, as in not wanting to spook Caleb away, Fjord takes a few steps closer to him. 

Without looking away, he cautiously moves his hand and touches Caleb’s cheek and Caleb can’t help but close his eyes at the gesture. It’s unfair how weak he feels when it comes to this man. Caleb wants him and he would destroy the world for him. No matter how much he wants to deny it. 

“Caleb” The way Fjord pronounces his name makes his spine shiver. The warmth of Fjord’s breath close to his face forces him to hold his own breath. “I think you misunderstood me” Caleb’s whole body is burning inside but stays still on his place, not moving a muscle. His heart is violently pounding in his ears.” I love Jester, yes. But I’m in love with…you too. I have for while now.” And it’s like someone opens the window and lets Caleb breath again, with Fjords words repeating themselves over and over in his head. 

Caleb opens his eyes and Fjord is just looking at him expectantly but also scared.

“I know this sounds scary and confusing. And maybe it’s a little selfish.” Fjord mumbles softly, his thumb touching Caleb’s cheek.” But thinking about the things we have survived these last weeks and then dying…I just wanted you to know because I don’t want to regret it until it becomes too late.” _It’s too late, Yasha_. That’s what he had said not so long ago. 

Caleb grabs Fjord by the shirt and kisses him. Fjord’s body reacts automatically. One hand grabs Caleb’s neck pushing him closer, deepening the kiss and the other one grabs him by the waist to keep him in place. Caleb moans as he presses his body towards Fjord, his grip tightening on the shirt and the other hand grabbing his hair. The kiss slowly becomes full of frenzy as both try to create as much friction as possible. Fjord groans as Caleb presses his hips against him, feeling his hard cock through his pants, looking for a relief as the lust becomes stronger. 

Fjord’s arms press him even more closer, moving his hips quicker, making Caleb whimper. Fjord bites Caleb’s lips rubbing himself frenetically against Caleb. It doesn’t take long until they reach their climax. 

Their heavy breathing is louder than the sound of the waves outside the quarters. Their foreheads are resting against each other as Fjord has his eyes closed. Caleb’s hand is gently resting on Fjord’s shoulder and Fjord’s other hand is still around his waist. 

A few minutes go by until they finally can breath normal. Caleb now blushing, is watching Fjords handsome face. 

“This went better than I imagined.” Fjord finally says, looking at him.”I know it’s complicated but my feelings for you are very real. And, if you’ll have me, I will not waste a minute to show you how much you mean to me.” Fjords grabs Caleb’s face with both hands and kisses him slowly, like he is a delicate thing. It’s sweet. Caleb melts into the kiss and his breath stops for a moment. 

There’s a gentle knock on the door and the spell breaks. 

Caleb automatically takes a step back from Fjord but the half-orc doesn’t seem unfazed. He sighs and gives him a soft smile. 

“I have to think about it.” Caleb finally responds avoiding Fjord’s eyes.” I have some issues that I have to…” Caleb clenches his jaw for a moment.” I just don’t understand how you could ever want me, let alone lov….”He stops himself from saying those words aloud. 

“Well I do _love you_ and if it will take time for you to see it, so be it. I’ll still be here until you do.” Caleb huffs shaking his head. He can’t help but smile at the determination in Fjord’s voice. 

There’s another knock on the door. Caleb clears his throat and tries to fix his clothes to somehowseem a little more presentable. 

“I better leave before they think you have been kidnapped.” Fjord just chuckles, not pressuring the subject anymore.

As he opens the door, Orly greets him quietly. Caleb nods at him, face burning with embarrassment and he leaves the captains quarters behind. As he returns to his own quarters his sees Jester, Nott and Caduceus talking on the main deck. His gaze briefly meets Jester’s and she gives him a warmth smile. And gods, she’s as beautiful as always and Fjord’s clearly making a mistake. 

She also grins at him, giving him a knowing look before laughing at something that Caduceus said breaking the eye contact.

Caleb blushes again and walks away quicklytowards his personal quarters to change his clothes, hoping to find a little bit of peace after so many emotions.


	2. Chapter 2

***

The next day, after the talk with Martinet Da'leth and Lady DeRogna on the _Wind of Aeons_ and then debriefing the rest of the Mighty Nein about the _beacon_ , Caleb finds himself alone, quietly reading in his personal cabin.

A few hours later in the afternoon, there’s a knock on the door breaking his concentration. Caleb gets up from his bed and opens it. It’s Jester. 

“Hi, Caleb!” she cheerfully greets him. Caleb can’t help but smile back at her because that’s the thing about Jester. She brings the sun everywhere she goes, not matter how dark the sky is. She’s not wearing her typical green clothing but a light blue sleeveless dress instead. Her hair, which is usually loose, is tied up in a ponytail. She looks beautiful. 

“Hello, Jester” Caleb makes a hand gesture and opens the door completely to let her in. ”Can I help you with anything?” He quickly looks around checking that the room is not a completely a mess. Suddenly, Jester takes his hand and guides him to the bed, closing the door. Caleb’s brain freezes for a moment but his body follows her. She sits on edge of the bed and pats the place beside her indicating that he sits next to her. Caleb complies as he takes a deep breath. 

“I wanted to talk to you about Fjord.” And it’s like scolding water pours over Caleb. He wants to get up and leave but Jester is still gently holding his hand, looking at him. 

He clears his throat and looks down at the floor. 

“What about him, Jester?” His heart starts pounding on his chest and he wants to teleport away from this conversation. 

“He told me about the conversation you two had.” Jester squeezes his hand.” I just want you to know that you don’t have to worry about anything. He loves you, Caleb. And you should allow yourself to be happy.” Caleb gives her a sad smile but doesn’t look at her and squeezes her hand back. 

“You’re too kind, Jester. But it’s a little more complicated than that.” Jester huffs as she shakes her head. 

“I saw your face when Fjord was laying dead on the floor. He cares about you and you clearly care about him. I don’t see why you can’t accept the fact that you also love him” Caleb stays silent for a few seconds. 

“He deserves someone that will give him the support he needs and not someone as broken as me.” He finally says.”Someone like you, Jester.”

“Oh, Caleb” she whispers, shifting beside him. She stands up and stands in front of him. Caleb looks up and meets her gaze. She takes a step closer and grabs his face gently with both hands. Caleb holds his breath, feeling the heat on his face becoming warmer. Jester looks at him with an adoration and fondness that Caleb can’t explain.” You’re not broken, Caleb. Maybe a little rough around the edges but not broken.” Caleb swallows hard, trying to control himself to not let the tears come out.”You’ve gone through so many terrible things and I know there’s somethings you haven’t told us, but you’re still here fighting and that’s what counts. You’re one of the strongest and kindest persons I know even when you want to act like an asshole to hide it.” Jester touches his face and Caleb lets himself enjoy the softly movements of her fingers on his skin. He takes a deep breath.” You keep us safe. And care about us. You gave the Dodecahedron to the Dynasty to save us from a certain death and then agreed to work alongside the man that destroyed your life so that there would be peace.” Jester takes another step closer to him, her body almost glued to his. “And we care about you too and would do anything to keep you safe as well. I would do anything to keep you safe” she whispers softly, her lips slightly brushing his. Caleb breathes in, absorbing her scent as he closes his eyes. He leans his head back, giving Jester the silently permission of kissing him. She giggles and sits on his lap, pushing her dress up so both her knees rest on his sides. Caleb automatically grabs her waist to support her, touching slowly her thighs. Jester runs her hands through his hair before she grabs it and pushes him closer, deepening the kiss. 

This kiss is different from Fjord’s. Fjord was sweet and gentle with Caleb. Jester is hungry. She kisses him like he’s the oxygen she needs to breathe. Like he’s something she needs to survive. She moves slowly her hips, straddling him. Caleb groans in her mouth at the friction that Jester makes. He feels his cock becoming harder with each teasing movement that Jester makes on top of him. 

“Jester” he whispers in her mouth. She laughs softly and kisses him on his forehead, moving her hips faster. Caleb thrust his hips up meeting Jester and she moans loudly as they move together. Caleb feels her wetness on his pants, the heat that her shaking body irradiates against him. One of his hands slips under the dress and he rubs and pinches her nipples with his finger through the fabric of her bra, making them harder. Jester gasps in pleasure.

“You’re so beautiful” he mumbles, kissing her shoulder. 

“Then imagine us together. With Fjord. ” She whispers breathless on his ear.” Now that would be a beautiful view, don’t you think?” The heat that has been consuming Caleb slowly from inside explodes. 

He can see it. The three of them on a bed. Fjord teasing Jester with his fingers and Caleb playing with her breasts. Caleb tasting Jester slowly as her lips are around Fjord’s cock. Jester screaming, begging loudly as both of them take her hard and deep and make her forget about everything else except the three of them. Soft kisses on their skins, softer words and promises whispered. 

Jester bites his neck, rubbing herself on him and Caleb grabs her face and kisses her again. She moans in approval, moving her hips faster against his cock. His whole body feels on fire and their clothes suddenly feel like an inconvenience. He thrusts himself faster against her and Jester make a delicious sound that is music to Caleb’s ears. She digs her nails into his shoulders, grabbing him when she comes hard and Caleb climaxes not long after her. 

Breathless and exhausted, Caleb rest his head on Jester’s shoulder. 

“Jester Lavorre” he mumbles in her soft skin.” You’re a force to be reckoned with.” Caleb finally realizes how little power he has against Jester. She has him wrapped around her finger and that kind of control scares him, but he can’t help but to love her as much as he loves Fjord. 

Jester laughs quietly running a hand through his hair, still sitting on his lap. And it feels right. The weight of her body pressed against him. For a moment it feels like he truly deserves to have this. Maybe he can have them. Maybe he should let himself enjoy this strange yet familiar feeling. It had been years since he had let himself care deeply for someone, to genuinely appreciate someone without second intentions. Maybe he could let some of the weight on his pockets become lighter. 

“I can feel your brain working, Caleb.” Jester says, breaking the silence. She lifts his chin gently, forcing him to look at her. There’s a mischievous look in her eyes but also adoration and Caleb can’t help but kiss her again. She smiles and breaks the kiss.- We can make you happy, if you let us.” She gives him a sweet kiss on his forehead. Caleb forces himself to let her go as she rises and stands up. 

He stands up and feels a little embarrassed as Jester watches the wet spot on his pants. She giggles, moving her eyebrows and then gives him a quick peck on the lips.

“We really care about you, Caleb. The both of us. So don’t think that you’re not wanted here.” She raises her brows.” Otherwise I did a poorly job in showing you how much we want you.” Caleb can’t help but chuckle and looks down at the floor, feeling his face become redder as the memory of Jester on top of him comes to his mind. An image he won’t forget in a long time. 

He feels himself getting hard again.

“Don’t worry, I won’t be forgetting about it anytime soon.” Jester hums, content. She fixes her dress and her hair.

“I’ll see you later, then?” Caleb gives her a soft smile, nodding. 

“I’ll see when it’s time to sleep.” She smiles back and leaves his room without looking back. Caleb collapses on the bed, wondering if everything was just a dream or hallucination. 

And if in the next morning Caleb wakes up between Fjord and Jester, arms and legs wrapped around him like tentacles with her lips pressed on his neck and Fjord’s head resting on his chest, well nobody makes a comment about it. 

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing about The Mighty Nein. I found out about Critical Role on February and I became obsessed since then. I love the cast as much as I love their fictional characters. English is not my first language so I apologize for any grammatical error. Hope you enjoy!


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